Dumb Question?

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By Paul Dugan, Groovy Reflections Team Member


Someone far wiser than I once said “The only dumb question is the one you don’t ask.” In most cases this is true, but alas oh wise one; Not always!  Looking back on things there has been a lot of dumb questions and answers in my life.

For example, parents: They try to be wise and impart their knowledge to their children but it doesn’t always work that way. Have you ever heard a parent ask a child “Would you like a spanking”? Think about it! How many answers to that are there? “Golly Gee Mom, that’d be just swell! And after that could I maybe go sit in a corner?” Of course the correct answer is “no”, but you knew that already, so why do we ask it?
 
A couple of other classics are, “How Many Times do I have to tell you?” Well obviously, at least once more! And of course there’s “Do you know how many hungry kids in China would love to have those vegetables?” Cool, can we mail them to them?

Of course there comes that day in every person that has a child’s life, when they realize they have become their parents! “Do I have to stop this car?” OMG! I’m Dad!  Exactly when did this happen?!

Of course you needn’t be a parent to ask a dumb question, there’s always the classic, “I’m going to Joe Public’s funeral today.” “Did he die?” No, we just thought it would be fun to bury him!

Other dumb questions fall into the category “Don’t Ask the Question If You Don’t Want the Answer!” It’s amazing how many people will go ahead and ask a question that has two possible answers and one of them has the potential to be devastating, the other is the one the person wants to hear. If you aren’t positive which one you’re going to get you probably shouldn’t ask. Please note this also falls into the dumb answer category!

“Does this dress make my butt look big?” The correct answer here is “Of course not dear!” Though do try to remember not to add, “It does that all by itself”!

Another example: During Olivia Newton-John’s peak of popularity my wife turned to me and said “I know you tease me a lot about Olivia, but if you had the chance to make love to her and you were still married to me, would you do it?”

Now, I’m not dumb. I knew what the correct answer was, but apparently I am stupid, because that isn’t the one I gave! What I said was “Yes Dear. Right there on the floor in front of you! Wouldn’t bother me a bit; in fact, I’d probably ask you to take pictures!”

Gotta admit it was the quietest couple of weeks this house has ever seen! In my defense, okay, I got no defense except: She Asked!

If there are no more questions, I’m gonna go work on my answers!

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Love; What is It?

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By Paul Dugan, Groovy Reflections Team Member

We use the word love a lot but what do we really mean? For example someone says “I love my car” do they mean the same as when someone says “I love my wife”? Would you give up your life for your car? Probably not.

So, I decided to think back on some of my first “loves”.

Of course there was Mom; she was my everything. Dad, he wasn't around so much, you know the working thing, so I think I must have known that I loved him then, but the memory isn't as strong.

My first cat, his name was Flubadub, from the Howdy Doody show. How I loved that big ‘ol slob of a pussy cat. Of course it was easy ‘cause I was so young and Mom had to take care of him; I just got to enjoy him, and of course love him. I don't know what ever happened to Flubadub, I was very young then and can't recall.

My first two wheel bicycle, all shiny red and chrome; oh how that bike could “fly”, plus it had multi-colored streamers on the handle bars! What wasn't to love? At least until it wasn't “cool” to ride a bicycle anymore.

My first crush, I'll never forget her. She was in my class in fifth grade and I had no idea why, but when I even thought about her my heart went pitt-a-pat! I loved her from afar until that fateful day in seventh grade when I finally got up my courage and asked her to the school dance. She shot me down! She just wanted to be friends. We were in the seventh grade; what the heck else were we going to be? Needless to say I was devastated, pretty sure my life was over. But the heart is a resilient thing; I got over her. I think.

My first guitar was an electric one. I was certain I would be the next Paul McCartney or at least Paul Simon. I loved that thing and the sounds that came out of it. I practiced day and night, at least until spring came and I could play baseball!

Did I say baseball? How I loved that game. I’d get up at dawn in the summertime so my friends and I could get to the field first; then if the big kids wanted to play they had to let us too! Growing up south of Boston most everyone was just naturally a Red Sox fan. I used to “watch” all their games on my transistor radio, sometimes under my pillow when I was supposed to be sleeping. Even went to a couple games with the Scouts, but we’re talking the 1960’s Red Sox here, like that was ever gonna last!

Then of course there was my first “real” girlfriend, my first steady. This was of course “true love” not “puppy love” like everyone said! We too drifted apart. Would I ever find that ever elusive “real love?”

I loved my car back then too! A 1966 Ford Fairlane Rag Top, with a four speed and 390 cubic inches under the hood. A state of the art eight-track tape deck made it perfect, but alas, economic times meant we too would be parted.

My first real love finally came along, forty-two years ago (as of 2012) and I finally found the answer to what is true love. Oh we've had our share of tough times but we got through them, together. We have five children and six grandchildren now, and I love them all, and of that I'm certain.

I guess sometimes you have to hurt a little before you know what real love is!

Of course I'd love to have that car back again. And don't get me started on Olivia Newton-John.