Exact Words

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By Paul Dugan, Groovy Reflections Team Member

Remember that episode of the Brady Bunch where Greg gets grounded and told he can't drive the family car? So, he drives someone else's car instead, and he's caught. He tells Mom and Dad that “your exact words were that I couldn't drive your car, and I didn't”. Now most parents would have exploded, but Carol and Mike simply say okay, if you want to live by exact words; that's what we'll do! Of course Greg finds it nearly impossible to live by his exact words and learns a valuable lesson!

I am here to report that fortunately my Mother never saw that episode, or I would have spent the better part of my adolescence learning “valuable lessons”!

For example, Mom and Dad tended to throw “adult” parties from time to time, which meant we children were banished to our upstairs bedrooms for the duration. The parties would get rather raucous ‘til a little before midnight when they quieted down considerably, then about fifteen minutes later a new group arrived and things got rolling again!

Those parties went ‘til the wee hours of the morning. Mom and Dad were in no mood to get up the next morning, let alone clean. Instructions were left for us kids to clean up. The benefit to us? We got to eat all the leftover snacks we wanted!

As we got older we also discovered more creative ways to empty the glasses as well, but that's another story entirely. We could have all the food we wanted, treats we could never seem to get enough of, except for Mom’s favorite brand of cheese crackers.  She left specific instructions; they were to be placed on her bureau.

The next afternoon following one of the parties, sitting in the living room with Dad and Sis we heard Mother bellow “who left these crackers on my bureau?” I calmly replied “I did Mom, you told me too”. At that point, I didn't think it possible, but Mom's voice rose several decibels as she screamed “Where the hell is the box?” “But Mom, you didn't say you wanted that.” Dad and Sis left the room so Mom wouldn't see them laughing! Never saw smoke come out of someone's ears before without use of a cigarette!

There were many more “exact words” incidents. One time I was told to draw the shades. Now an artist I'm not, but I thought the picture came out very nice! Or the time Mom ate a grapefruit in the living room and asked me to take the dish to the kitchen. Never said anything about the grapefruit rind!

And then there was the ice water incident. Mom liked her ice water and we kids were usually sent to fetch it. Okay, it's Mom; she deserved having us wait on her but the part that really got me was every time she asked, without fail, we also got instructions on how to make it! You wouldn't think it very hard but Mom had to tell us every time, “Be sure to fill the glass as full as you can with ice then put the water in”!

One day, in the middle of winter she handed me her glass and gave the instructions. I took the glass, went on to the front porch, snapped a four foot icicle off the eaves and crammed it into the glass and trickled a little water down the side and served her! This time she saw the humor in it and laughed and I'd like to tell you she never told me how to make ice water again!

However, she apparently didn't have much faith in our education system and continued to tell me and tell me!

That was a long time ago but it's fun to look back on the memories of our childhood. We lost Mom a few years back and I can honestly say I really wouldn't mind hearing those instructions one more time.

The Song Remembers

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By Paul Dugan, Groovy Reflections Team Member

Music is so much a part of our lives that when we hear a certain song it takes us back in time, sometimes to a happier time, sometimes a sadder time, but through it all, the music is still there.

For me, Van Morrison's Brown Eyed Girl always brings me back to my high school girlfriend and those carefree days when we couldn't wait to graduate and make our mark on the world. And Gary Lewis and the Playboys remind me of summer days at the lakeside camp that had been my Grandfather's.

When you turn that radio on, you just never know what memories going to come out of those speakers.

One of my strongest memories from when I was younger was an annual event for several years running. I'd give my mother a list of seven or eight record albums that I'd like for Christmas and I'd always find three or four under the tree, so Christmas comes to mind when I hear groups like Herman's Hermits, The Lovin’ Spoonful, Gerry and the Pacemakers, Simon and Garfunkel and many others, Most of those albums I still own to this day.

The wish list thing would change year after year. As my taste in music progressed and got further caught up in the 60's, I discovered the protest song!  Of course my wish list reflected this.

I didn't actually see the incident, but in my mind I can clearly envision it as if I were there.  Mother went to a music chain store called Krey's Disc, much like FYE of today. A helpful clerk asked if he might help her locate anything. She replied “Yes, I'm looking for ‘Pleasures of the Harbor’ by The Philharmonic Orchestra”. The clerk's eyes widened and, to his credit, without a trace of a smile said “Excuse me”? Mom said “See, here on the list” and she showed him my list, and there at the top was “Pleasures of the Harbor” by Phil Ochs. The clerk politely explained that was not an abbreviation and got her a copy of the correct album.

Mother bought it, left the store, and to the best of my knowledge, never went back. She said she just knew they were laughing as she left (and she was probably right). I know I did when she told me!

That was the last record album Mom ever bought me; she meant what she said when she said she'd rather just give me the money and let me buy whatever I wanted myself!

I still have that album but we lost Mom a few years ago and now whenever I hear Phil Ochs sing the “Draft Dodger Rag” or “I Ain't Marching Anymore” I smile and remember Mom and Christmas's past.



Written by Paul Dugan, Guest Groovy Reflections Blogger